


Not just a tincan

by Rk900 (Thief_0f_heart)



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Connor & Upgraded Connor | RK900 are Siblings, Depressed Nines, Depressed Rk900, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Failed Suicide Attempt, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gavin Reed Being an Asshole, Gavin Reed Redemption, Gavin Reed feels guilt, Gavin Reed is Bad at Feelings, Hank Anderson & Connor Parent-Child Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Nines needs a hug, Post-Android Revolution (Detroit: Become Human), RK900 Needs a Hug, Self-Harm, Suicidal Nines, Suicidal Rk900, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Upgraded Connor | RK900 Has a Different Name, no beta we die like androids, no beta we die like men, reed900
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-03
Updated: 2020-10-03
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:01:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26798497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thief_0f_heart/pseuds/Rk900
Summary: Gavin accidentally pushes his partner, Nines, to attempt Suicide.
Relationships: Upgraded Connor | RK900 & Gavin Reed, Upgraded Connor | RK900/Gavin Reed
Comments: 2
Kudos: 71





	Not just a tincan

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by a few fanfics I've read!

Gavin’s words rang inside Nines’ head, _“You are an android! You don't know shit about human emotions, you are an unfeeling unloving piece of scrap metal. And you need to remind yourself of that, as much as you try to make yourself a person no-one is ever going to love you and if you die no-one will care.”_ Nines doesn’t remember much else of what Gavin had said, as he had immediately turned away and ran out of the precinct, eyes blurred from tears. 

He had ended up on the top of some apartment building. Nines stood at the edge of the roof, his thirium pump just beating and beating. He wanted it to stop. Gavin was right. He is worthless. A stupid, annoying, useless piece of metal. He should just deactivate himself. And so, without more than a split second of hesitation, he pushed his hand onto his thirium pump and turned, pulling it out. This action made his vision immediately blurry.

**[IMMINENT SHUTDOWN IN: 00:04:59.73]**

He swayed a little, sitting down to balance himself. He let out a sigh of relief, throwing his thirium pump behind him, towards the entrance. He suddenly felt a tinge of guilt. He’d leave behind his brother, Connor, and his father figure, Hank. But the guilt went away as soon as it came when he realized they’d get over him. They had each other. 

**[IMMINENT SHUTDOWN IN: 00:03:42.19]**

He coughed, spitting up some thirium that had managed to get into his cooling regulators, or lungs as the humans would call them. He began to think of what the detective would be doing at this time of day. He was probably still at the precinct, drowning himself in work to forget about whatever was bothering him before Nines had stupidly pushed him to open up. Nines knew Gavin hated when people pushed, yet he did it anyway. Nines knew this because he cared about people, even if they did not care about him.

**[̧͇̥̰͚I̷͈̲͟͠M̷̧̞̘̹͓̫̥̜M̮̗̙̜͈̙̕I̺͓͈N̷̡̺͈̯̥̞E҉͓̞̞̥͍̺̫̝N̵͉͎̠͇͍̱͕̘̗T̰̼̝̝̘̩̝ ͕̺̩ͅS͔͉̣H̲͔̱͞͡U҉̲̮̺T̸̨̛̝̝̳D̸̴͕̩̗͜Ǫ̥̘͇̼̞̱̬͇͜W̛̝̪N̴̺̼͍͇͎̮͠ ̬̮̖͓͉͚͔͚I̙̜̕N͇̘̯͎͇̹:̤̖̠͜ ͚̟͖̰̻͎̳̕͢0̴͚̗0̞̯̤̩͍͎̗̙͘͜:̵̷͓͙̩͍̣̩͔0̝̹1̡̢̖͎͉ͅ:̵̣̲͇̺̪̜̪̞͡4͠͏̺͍͈̮͖͙3̸̥̰̝.̵̞͈̳̲̹̻̥8̹̯͓͖̻̗͠0̻̥̞͍̠͚͡]̸̞̥̣̞̥̞̟͓̠͡**

He suddenly felt very sleepy. Which was weird as Androids don’t usually feel sleepy. He felt himself swaying again, this time almost falling off the ledge. He mustered enough strength to push himself back onto the roof. He just laid there, eyes fluttering. Not hearing anything as he relaxed, smiling. He didn’t hear the door open, he didn’t hear the gasp, he didn’t hear the rough voice yelling his name.

**[̢̥̳̣̦̕͢͡I̵͔̼̟̖̝̖̙̳͈̭̮̙̞͚̝̜͟ͅM̕҉̠̠̯̮͇̪̭̮͓̳̫̭̜̘̯̣͝ͅM̡̧̪̫̪͖̥͉͍̞Į̷̡͏̳͔̖̹͈̝̘̱̯̰̞̱̹̱̝͕N̶̵̢͙͎̹͕̲̻̗̜͟Ę̴̢̺͇̞͈̥̲̱͉͇̟͍̳͉̟͚̳̬͈͟͢Ṋ̴̼̺̰̳͔̻̻̲͇̤Ṯ̡̨͍͙̝͉ͅ ̶̨̞̳̯͔̯̲̜̖S̛̹̞̤̼̯̣̝̕͘H͈̜̘̥̞̼̰̮̕͝U̢̧̬̺̪̝̺͚͇̜̝̼̯̗̗̩T̷̴͓̝ͅD̦͔̣̖͚̹͟͞͞O̶̵̧̰̣̥̗͓̹͙͚̘̭̣͇̰̭̩̺̠̕͢W͢͏̛͈̖̦̮͈͕̯̗͔͈̗̙ͅN̳̯͈͕͖̘͎͍̹͉̠͈̟͘͜͞͝ͅͅ ̵̬̠̮̖̥̦͡I͍̼̗̜̖̥͘͝N̘̥̫̳̥̤͡:̱͙͚̝͚͜ ͡͏̗͇̺̩̦͇̠̼̯̥̭͎͙̰0̸̡̹͖̤͉͘͟0̢̼̝̪̻̩̘̯̰̲͘:̨̛͕̤̳̹̩͎̣͕̳̮̗͚͘0̶̷̭͍̦̲̞͚̗̰͇͢͡0̴̝̪̦̩̤̺̣̥̭̰:̴̧̛̥̙̥̦̝̮͙͢0̴̨̭̩͔̜͔̙̮͘ͅ9͏̠͚͈̯̖̠͚̱̠̮̖ͅͅ.̶̛͍͔̜̩̘̩̝̕͠9̷͔̣͉͖̦̘͕̰͎̤͇̖͇̳͜9͓̻͉̲̻͕̰̹̠͉͘]̸̡̤̫͚̪̠̗̩̝̼͎͚͔͕̙̜͖͘͟**

He let his eyes finally flutter shut, a smile finding its way to his mouth, contrasting the tears streaming down his cheeks. He muttered one last thing before he would be released into oblivion, “It’s finally… over…”

His shutdown suddenly stopped counting, his eyes snapping open. He felt pressure on his chest. Looking down, he saw hands on him, pushing his thirium pump back into place. He took a shuddering breath and the world seemed to move in slow motion. He was pushing the person away, hands moving to rip at his chest before he was pinned down. He began screaming, sobbing, struggling. But his systems weren’t fully functioning, so he wasn’t able to get away. Finally, he saw who was in front of him and he froze.

_**Gavin** _

Suddenly, he became oh so lightheaded. The world started spinning and he started sobbing, shaking, and shuddering. He felt words leave his mouth before he even had the chance to think, “No! NO! Please! Let me go! I don’t want to be here anymore! I need to leave.. Please.. Gavin.. Let me die...” 

Gavin stopped, frozen for a second but that second was enough for the android to shimmy away, lunging for the edge. He felt something wrap around his body, holding him back. And soon all the fight was gone from him, he went limp in the detectives arms, sobbing quietly. 

“Why didn’t you let me die..? I- I deserve to die.. I’m worthless.. You know it, I know it. E-everyone knows it.. So, so why not just let me die…?” Gavin just held Nines closer and tighter, shaking slightly.

When the android was a little calmer, he spoke slowly, as if he would break at any moment, “I’m sorry, Detective. You should go home now. You might catch a cold. I’m safe.” The last words finally got Gavin to speak, “No. You’re not. Don’t lie to me. You just tried to kill yourself. Twice.” His voice broke at the last word. Nines just forced a smile, speaking through his teeth, “My stress levels had gotten too high, it was just my self-destruct protocol. My stress levels have lowered significantly.” They hadn’t. “I won’t do anything brash.” He would. 

Gavin looked up at him through his eyelashes, wet from tears. “Do-don’t lie to me, Nines.” Nines shook his head, “I’m not lying.” He was. Gavin laughed harshly. “I’m a detective. I can tell when someone’s lying.” Nines looked down. He felt bad. He hadn’t wanted to be saved. Especially not by Gavin. He felt like a burden. “I’m sorry.” Gavin looked shocked, “For what-?” He sputtered out. “For wasting your time.” Gavin chuckled, uncomfortably. “You’re not wasting my time.” Nines just shook his head. “I’m taking time away from your work for you to…” He trailed off, suddenly confused. “Wait. I thought you’d be at work? How’d you find me?” Gavin blushed, mumbling, “I followed you.” Nines just asked another question, “Why?” Gavin looked at Nines as if he’d asked the stupidest question, “Why? Why-? Nines. Because I just yelled at you and, instead of firing back as you usually would, you ran away. And I know I said some horrible stuff so I followed you to make sure you were okay.. And I’m glad I did… I’m sorry.” Nines just shook his head, “Nothing you said wasn’t true.” That’s when Gavin snapped. “Nines. What the fuck? Everything I said was a lie! While you are an android, You _do_ know shit about human emotions, you _aren’t_ an unfeeling, unloving, piece of scrap metal. And you _should never_ need to tell yourself that. You _are_ a person. Hell, more of a person than most. And fuck, _I_ love you and if you die, _I_ will care. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have ever made you feel that you needed to die. Fuck.. I’m so sorry..” 

Nines’ LED started flashing between the red it had been and a softer yellow, finally stopping on a muted blue. “You love me..?” He asked, Tears coming back to his eyes. “.. _You_.. Love.. _me_..?” He shook his head suddenly, LED going back to red. “No. No. That’s impossible. How could you love me?” He spit out the last word, almost as if that word was disgusting. 

Gavin forced out a sad laugh and began, “How could I not? You’re gorgeous, smart, kind. You put up with all my shit and stay no matter how much I try to push you away. You’re so easy to be around and no matter what I say, I want you to know. I _do_ love you..” 

Nines was crying again now. “I’m sorry.. I didn’t know you felt this way.. I didn’t mean to put you through this.. I.. I love you too, Gavin. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Gavin just shook his head, “I’m the one who needs to apologize. I pushed you to attempt suicide. Fuck.” His body started shaking as he realized, “God damn it! I almost killed you! I’m so so sorry.. Nines, you don’t have to forgive me.. But I’m so sorry.” 

Nines smiled softly, “I’ll always forgive you.. And if I’m being honest, This isn’t the first time I considered deactivating myself.. Just.. the first time I had the guts to try it..”

Gavin pulled Nines up and guided him down the stairs, leading him to an apartment. “Luckily, You decided to come to my apartment complex..” He chuckled softly. Nines blushed, “I- I didn't realize..” Gavin just pulled him into the room. “It’s fine, Nines. I’m just glad you’re okay..”


End file.
